I have to thank you all. Just that,

I have write a lot of stuff here, but it seems it didn't uplodead. I just want to thank yto everone that keep on talking to me  and the ones that talk to me at a personal level-., since you are all the only reason I'm still here.,

(you know who you are)

And now som angst, I haven't spoke about this to no one,  but is really depressing shit.

Last year my mother (I live just with my mothr..prents divorced since 2001) dcided to bring my midle brother to our new home hre at Salta, I tried to convince her that he didn0t wantd to come (which it was true, and he asked me to tell her that) but she brings him anyways for december (his b-day month).... I ...things got MORE shitty since then.

I never get out of my room since november, U just went to university eat there, and come hme to stay all day on the internet in the mini laptop my father send to me. I even stop existing for the rest of my family.

At december i DIDN'T celebrate christmas because I don'tt belive in jesus, mother and the rest were mad at me.

At new years U just took 2 bootless of alcohol as I usually do at that time of the year, you have no idea of how things got stresing and shitty in the house everytie I went to get soe food from the kitchen. Is like I wasn0t allowed to exist.

January...  still didn't get to socialize with my family, I was busy studying for my finals of next month. Middle brother tried to kill me and almost succed.

Mother said it was all my fault, because of who I'm. I wasn't allowed to go to the police or get medical attention, because if I did, mothr would go away and leave me in the streets and I  never be able to go "home".

I cutted with a gillette my left arm. too deep that the wounds still don't heal by now. No one cared about it.... I say ood bye to my best friends, and my father (who lives 5.000 km away from me, and I just call.. he told me he regrets not have loved me enough).

I survived, Doctor said it was because of my powerful regen system... I can't die of blood loss.. even I lost almost like 2lt . I just,... cure myself way to fast.  I spend  4 days in my room without eating, just sleeping, till my mother went to check on my and call the mental institution to take me.

They told her I wasn't the type of case  they take  and cured my wound that were infected by  then.

since then things go worst.... I can't smile.. just automatically pretends I'm fine, I can't even draw (which can se in my tumblr.. I lost everything I ever loved ... even my hability to draw)

The only thing that keeps me sane in this right moment is the people who keeps talking tome in a prsonal level,  even I know I'm losing myself.... and the 22nd of september is getting so close that I fear what it would happen.

I'm so sorry for disappointing everyone.... I'm just a very sick person that have nothing to lose.

Ican't... I jus can't honestly keep this thing.. I'm getting into alcohl again, and secretelly burning my legs so nl one can see the scars... last 2 weeks I broke down in public places such as the bus, I started crying for no reason and couldn't stop.


Sometimes I wish Icould give you all what you want in first place. But I can't I'm so sorry... and still... I reret nothing... I'm not anymore.

worsst of all I have eating  dissoders... I'm very sick and doc dosn't know why.... I just don't like to eat at all ... bleh.. Anyways Everything makes me feel sick lol

-_

After all this time... I won 50 followers... It maked m cry of happyness and bring hopes again for me.

I stop goign to History classes at university, but I keep studying for taking the final exams, I started going to fashion design school of Roberto Piazzam, which is going like 100'% well for me, right now, een if it's hrd tot design all day,


I'm being ssickly hopefully right now... even  can't stop crying or drinking... I need to be strong for the ones I want t se success in life, I can0t lave those people... Even I will eventually do it.

I just-
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Can0t stop thanking you all... I just wish you all have the best of life because you deserve it,

(sorry for typos,,.,)